I have found myself in recent
times thinking about "church". I don't get to go as much as I did -
we travel from Paris to the South a lot and for the past month or so, the rail
link from home to St Lazare has had maintenance closures, so weekend services are
very severely limited and people are bussed to another station before being
able to get up to town. No, I don't feel guilty, nor do I think someone should try to make me. I miss 'church' in some ways, although a flagship
building and strong, qualified, doctrinally sound exposition doesn't really
make up for the fact that it's quite a friendless place, on the whole. As in
any other large organisation, there seem to be circles within circles and the
vagabond in me likes to sit at the gateway, nod, smile, dutifully sharing the
Peace with people I've never met and speak to no-one.
On the subject of flagships,
it's been interesting, and rather saddening, to watch the implosion of that New Calvinist behemoth formerly known
as Mars Hill whose charismatic if rather outspokenly brash senior
pastor Mark Driscoll has been dismissed. It seemed he let his enthusiasm run
away with him, smacked around a few too many followers, and a lot of vulnerable
people found themselves browbeaten and abused by someone who should have known
better. Now amidst the rubble, fallout and haemorrhage, both pastoral and
financial, the whole structure is being dismantled and sold off in the
ecclesiastical equivalent of a fire sale. When church becomes big business, it
becomes susceptible to all the temptations of profit, status and media approval
ratings. How it could have been prevented is a different thread.
I've always been in favour of
small over large. Small means being known, large means anonymity where the
secrets of the heart can be more easily concealed and transparency lost.
It seems that Mr Driscoll has
apologised. Small means that apology has more meaning - usually, individuals
are those wronged, and if one claims to apologise to an organisation, it's like
apologising to the bank for exceeding one's overdraft limit, it lacks
conviction and can be filed away under the header of the politics of
expediency. It may only be at the circumference of the problem, not at its
centre. A narcissistic apology with no desire to make amends is no more than
manipulative theatre since it proclaims "I am hurting because of
this", rather than "You are hurting because of me".
But, of course, the big/small
issue is only a part. I don't want to 'belong' to a large organisation so large
that the man in charge takes on the status of a rock star, the worship team has
its own fan club and in a time of need you have to queue, call or make an
appointment to see someone who doesn't know you and ends up just giving good advice
which you probably knew already, not sitting with you in the ashes, with a
servant heart. Neither do I want to belong to a small organisation which
replaces pastoral care with a Blackshirt beating which is why I find New
Calvinism particularly unappealing. It's just like Old Calvinism in ripped
denim jeans. There's even a Facebook group called "Calvinism. The group
that chooses you". They are still relatively few in number, but that
doesn’t bother them: being a persecuted minority proves they are among the
elect. They are not “the next big thing” but a protest movement, defying the
woolly baa-lamb mainstream that, they believe, has gone soft on sin and has
watered down the Gospel into a glorified self-help program. A protest movement
headed up by a Sherman tank of a preacher who once wrote that the mainstream
church has turned Jesus into a "hippie, queer Christ, neutered and
limp-wristed.... a Sky Fairy of pop culture" is bound to cause a few
casualties, which is a shame.
I've seen my fair share of
church breakups, most frequently caused by a systematic lack of humility
together with self-aggrandisement conveniently masquerading as 'vision' sometimes laced with a sadistic sense of self importance consequently I'm quite relieved not to have
been a part of this one. I found myself comparing it to ISIS. Cult minority
status, unquestioning obedience to leaders, dissent stifled, emphasis on
militancy...
Or, perhaps I go too far.
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