A frisson of doubt passed over me when a colleague and friend accepted a head teacher's job in Tripoli three years ago, not least because in spite of the newly minted oil-slicked crocodile smiles of the British who seemed to have forgiven and forgotten Lockerbie, the man in charge was clearly a tapestry of personality disorders. Gaddafi is a complex individual, it would seem. He surrounds himself by an all-female bodyguard described as 'Amazonian' and a troupe of nurses, of one, Ukraininan Halnya Kolotnyska, it is said, Gaddafi is 'very fond'. Miss K, whom WikiLeaks describes as 'blonde and voluptuous', has had to return home urgently since her mother is unwell, sources report. The Internet has a number of alleged pictures of her, in particular her upper torso which has been described as 'impressive'. Most are in fact of an inoffensive Russian mail order bride, whose social cachet and marriageability is likely to be enhanced in consequence. And, no I am not posting a picture of her, potential bridegrooms must look elsewhere.
Colonel Gaddafi (born in a tent in the middle of the desert in 1942) has a refreshingly inventive take on history. He has suggested, for example that William Shakespeare was in fact an Arab called Sheikh Zubair, and America got its name from Arab settlers who named it Amir Ka. Arab phonetics - so very confusing...
Africans seem to love him, however. As the ex-president of the African Union he was described as follows by the well-respected and totally unbiased Daily Trust of Nigeria, whose editorial staff bear total responsibility for errors in grammar and punctuation.
Some call him ‘controversial’; others ‘unfathomable’; still others call him ‘fatuous’ and yet, others out rightly (sic) call him ‘mad man’; perhaps borrowing from Ronald Reagan who once labelled him as a “mad dog”. A skilled political operator, highly philosophical, an intellectual in every sense of the word, Gaddafi is a leader who is fondly adored by his people such that no single Libyan is raising an eyebrow as their leader turn himself into a life president of sorts. He is running his country based on the principles of justice, equity and fair play.
Of course he is. Describing his compatriots as 'cockroaches' and vermin' is, after all, only merry, inoffensive banter amongst friends. As to the policy of 'shoot to kill', surely this is nothing more than a precautionary measure.
His speeches have been charitably described as 'rambling' and one has now been turned into a trance video which has gone viral on the Net. It was written by an Israeli and the girls were removed for a Muslim audience. Quite right.
Two hundred African leaders bestowed the title of 'king of kings' on Mr Gaddafi in 2008, ironically in Benghazi. I rather think the permanence of a stable trumps a Bedouin tent, however. Almost a 'sting of stings', perhaps.
Oh, all right then. Here's a picture of Mr Gaddafi's nurse, just to put you all out of your misery; any alleged mammary hyperplasia having been left to your imagination....But, then again, it might just be another mail-order bride. It's amazing what you can buy on the Net these days.