I'm getting into this despair thing. It's really quite a friendly, non-threatening place. The abyss, I mean. When you take the trouble to look into it.
How about these, to enlighten, elevate and amuse...
It can turn a lump of coal into a diamond, or your average Joe into a basket case.
No matter how great and destructive my problems may seem now, I should remember I've probably only seen the tip of them.
If I expect to score points by whining, I should join Real Madrid.
Nothing shouts "you're a loser" more loudly than owning a motivational poster about being a winner. Before you ask..no.
Tradition ( my personal favourite).
Just because I've always done it this way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid. But, I'm going to do it anyway.
I'm so glad that reason continues to prevail in my dealings with the rest of the human race. Should I be in danger of dropping a marble or two, doubtless those around me, having stifled their laughter, might be kind enough to help me pick them up.