According
to the Harvard Business Review, when it comes to making sense of vast
amounts of complex data, time is really on our side. It's a simple
concept, one that everyone understands: an action starts, then
eventually stops. The distance or the event horizons between
those two points convey information - information about then,
about now,
and about the differences between the two. Being ‘away’ generates
vast amounts of data, some of which is valuable, most is not. It
takes time to sift through the mountainous piles. Like a poker hand,
you have to know what to throw away and what to keep.
When I
was at school, geography was one of those grey, indifferent subjects
which had to be endured between more interesting activities. I never
really was able to get to grips with it probably because my geography
teacher was away scaling some impossibly difficult Himalayan peak and
the substitute was a squat little Welshman who usually taught PE and
coached Rugby, about which he was passionate. Lessons could therefore
be fairly easily diverted from the main theme as long as Rugby,
particularly Welsh Rugby was under discussion. En passant, we learned
about the Steel Company of Wales, if memory serves, which was about
as much use as Urdu For Dummies and I left his class no
wiser whether Ougadougou or Wolverhampton was closer to Wales. My
knowledge of longitude therefore did not extend very far and even as
a young adult I can still recall thinking that New Zealand was
a rather jolly little place just off the coast of Australia, within
sight of land, rather like the Isle of Wight and easily reached by
ferry.
I imagined it to be populated by dark-skinned, muscular
individuals with tattoos – I’d seen ‘The Piano’ after all –
with a few white people courtesy of Captain Cook, and quite a number
of sheep. Rolling hills and Middle Earth, with quite a good Rugby
team, which would have pleased my old geography teacher.
Anyone
who has ever booked flights on the Internet will know that there is a
malevolent faerie employed by the travel companies whose single job
description is to change the numbers. Burrowing in the undergrowth of
a million flights and connections one has no sooner tagged and bagged
a particular flight than when the site is revisited five minutes
later, the flight originally advertised at $1650 has unaccountably
been repriced at $3480. I wondered what extras one gets for
this additional amount. A seat, probably. We were committed to
visiting only two destinations, Shanghai and Auckland.
How we got
there was a matter for the relevant faeries and their interns, of
whom there are thousands, I’m certain, to sit down in the ether
somewhere and hammer out an itinerary for us which didn’t cost a
king’s ransom, nor involve twenty-six hour stopovers in Kazakhstan.
We did make several fortuitous stops in various exotic locations,
some with friends and some without. Singapore was one, if memory
serves. I think we went to Sydney also – I have a photograph of me
beside the Opera House - and we entered Hong Kong as we left it, in
the middle of a violent thunderstorm.
When I
look at friends’ Facebook interactions, and observe the strong ties
they have with members of their families, I realize how conspicuously
absent my own is. There is a black hole sometimes where others place
the ‘family’ totem. I know it is there and have reconfigured the
emotional software to skate around it, much as one might ski around a
crevasse which you know is there and all you have to do is avoid it.
My personal history has much to do with this and those who know me
will understand why. I don’t necessarily envy such connections, for
to do so one would have to have intimate knowledge of the object of
such envy. I don’t envy the driver of a Bentley, since I’ve only
ever seen one from the outside – I have no idea what it feels like
to put it in gear and drive round in it. We were met at Auckland
airport by a woman I had last known when she was a child. I wondered
how we would greet one another. Yet, strange and perverse are the
rules of family engagement, here was someone who thought like me.
There was a thread, a bridge of some kind which joined us. It didn’t
bind us together suffocatingly as two sheaves of wheat – it seemed
ephemeral and without substance, yet strong, reaching across years of
separation and growth in different directions to allow the unspoken
to be perfectly understood and feelings to be calibrated with uncanny
accuracy. To my surprise, I found this strangely comforting.
Before
we left France, I wondered about her husband, the man with whom she
had moved across eleven time zones. I wondered whether he would be
ebullient, larger than life, obnoxiously full of backslappery and
beery bonhomie, anxious to make me feel at home. Or,
would he take a mutinously silent dislike to me, resenting my
presence? Turned out I was enriched and blessed by our meeting. I
sensed strength and quiet purpose about him - a man who says what
needs to be said with clarity and quiet grace. I liked him immensely.
The
notion of being a grandfather had always filled me with some degree
of horror, since persons of this kind invariably have hairy ears and
poor dress sense. It was therefore with some small relief that I met
a small boy, my grandson, for the first time, who is the calmest
child I have ever come across. I wondered whether he would either
throw his arms round me or hide under his bed. Fortunately, he did
neither. We sat together sometimes, he and I, sorting Lego into
colour coded piles or looking at insects through a small plastic
biotrope. He seemed to be OK with that, as was I.